August 22 2012: Pirates vs Hawks

It was a balmy, late summers evening and the Pimlico Pirates were looking forward to their last match of the season. With 5 and 5 we had no subs and sorely missed Dave, Sohan, Donna, Marines, Baldeep and Fiona. Equally the Hawks were 1 girl down.  We felt charitable and so decided that we would not make them have the automatic out so they 9 batters and had 3 outfielders rather than 4.

Neil bought some 8% MVP beer for us all, which we all sipped while the sun went down, with Josie being slightly more classy and sticking to the Pimms.

After a good warm up, and the Kamikaze umpires ready, we were keen to start with the Hawks batting first.

(Now the following is from memory as I don’t have the stats sheet so I’m thinking of it as highlights of the match in a randomish order)

The Intellectual Intellect Hawks had a shaky start and we managed a quick 4 up, 3 down. It could have been quicker but a Hawks hit between 1st and 2nd saw the parting of Alice and Ruth like the Red Sea and no-one getting the ball – woops. Luckily they didn’t score.

Mr Andrew-Consistent-Shorty was up to bat for us first, followed by Ruth, Chris (who takes great advantage of the bigger than usual gaps in the outfield) and Alice. All had good hits and were safe on the bases. Tommy then came up to bat and hit big followed by Nads and Neil.

Score: Pirates 5, Hawks 0

The start of the second innings was a little better from the Hawks with the Huge and Hunky Jon coming up to pelt the ball into right field, followed by a few good other Hawks hits. Bola in centre right field was trying his luck at a double play and skillfully got the easy out on 2nd but became WAAAAAAAAAY to excited and lobbed the ball about 20 metres away from Alice on first so it narrowly missed the beloved boom box. Luckily the boom box was OK and so was Bola – only just though after Neil glared terrifyingly at him. After a spectacular catch from Chris, and Tom showing his talent  at Short Stop by cutting off a massive hit and hurling it from the Almighty Fist at 99mph to 1st to get the last out, the Hawks were out for 3 and we came up to bat again. We put together a brilliant rally of 6 runs, most on 2 outs. Josie gritted her teeth and pumped her way to 1st, Neil did his usual sneaky base running and Bola hit huge to redeem his earlier fielding error to get home.

Score: Pirates 11 Hawks 3

The Hawks were up again and a massive swing and a miss x 3 from one of their guys gave us the 1st out. The Hawks catcher with the GB sweat bands then poottled to first and then a Hawks girl came to bat. She hit the ball just wide of Neil who skillfully scooped it up and flicked it at 100mph at Alice who managed to keep it in her glove for the second out.

We took the plate again and Nads executed the Hit of her Softball Career and got to third, which in my opinion is like a homer for a girl, followed by Neil getting in a few RBI’s with a brilliant right field hit, followed by Josie cruising to 1st and then getting to home from Bola and Shaz’s hits.

Score: Pirates 14 Hawks 6

The start of the 4th innings saw a few changes in the Pirates field with Chris taking 1st base and Alice on 3rd. Nads and Josie swapped into left and right field respectively.  Jon The Incredible Hulk stepped up again to hit one into the bushes over left field, and at the precise moment in time I can’t remember whether it was called foul or good – but whatever the call was it was, Shaz assured us it was wrong. Anyway, we didn’t mind that much as the light was fading fast and we wanted to get on with it. Shorty unleashed the Arm of an Angry God again and did a magnificent throw to Ruth on second who got the out. The Hawks battled on to get 1 more run and then we stepped up.

Ruth, Chris, Alice, Tom, Nads and pretty much everyone did a spectacular job, and we got a 7 run rally against the ’slow pitch’  fast pitcher who had swapped in. Looking like true pro’s at this point we were just short of a mercy.

Score Pirates 21 Hawks 7

The Hawks stepped up again to bat and quickly lost their 3 outs. We were at the plate again this time swinging at anything as it was getting very gloomy and the summer light was fading as fast as the Hawks hopes. We secured another 3 runs in the last innings with Neil getting in a few more RBI’s to add to his tally.

The umpires had a quick conflab with the Hawks and then called the game as it was too dark, so we all got into the huddle of Pirate love to do our last cheer of 2012. The Hawks did a pretty good effort before us, but we then showed them how to do it properly, and then we meandered to Le Gothique where we sat and chatted and Bola was asking for everyone’s vote as usual.


MVP Alice with Nads and Bola in joint second

Best Defensive Play – Joel from the Hawks for brilliant fielding, with Alice second AND third (woop)

Bola Award – Bola (well it had to go back to it’s original home sweet home) for forgetting where 1st base was.

Lessons learnt:

Bola can’t throw

Nads is a Legend with her 3rd Base hit

Neil got 7 RBI’s

Alice loves 1st base

The Hawks are good fun but the Pirates Rock.

Match report by Alice Robinson

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